Friday, October 7, 2011

The Awkward Chronicles of April: Part I



I could just be the most awkward person you’ll ever meet. I always seem to find myself in these weird situations, the kind where you just want to curl up and disappear from the face of the earth. Yeah, I’ve been very well apt in these unfortunate dispositions for more than once in my 23 years on this earth. As I try to humor myself with this entry, I would like to give you a recap of the topmost events that showcases my most embarrassing awkward moments/monologues of all time.  Drum roll please.

The awkward moment with my cute hot boss. This was on my second day at work. In my defense, he did offer me and my fellow intern a free lunch the day before.

(At the office hall way, it was 5 minutes before lunch time)

April: “I’m almost done uploading this file in the site, is there anything else you want me to prioritize?”
Boss: “Ok, do you want to get together now to discuss?”
April: (baffled and flattered) “you mean, over LUNCH?”
Boss: “No, in my office.”

*way to go april, waaay to go!*

The awkward moment at the Disney Store. I was picking out a present for a friend, I was with Royce who was wearing a brown leather jacket. I was prancing around the store like a little girl with a stuffed toy in my arms and pranced my way beside a guy (who I thought was Royce) wearing almost the exact same leather jacket.

April: (as I pranced my way beside this stranger) Wanna go upstairs with me? (then realizing that it was not Royce)
Stranger: (shocked) uhmmm.. I don’t know why you want to go upstairs but sure, We can go upstairs! Hahaha.
April: I’m so sorry, I thought you were someone else. Really sorry.

*I wanted to hide myself behind Pooh bear*

The awkward moment at the airplane. I bumped into this high school friend (who I thought was gay) while I was waiting for my flight to Manila. Turns out, he was also in the same flight and coincidentally enough we were seated right next to each other.

April: “You look like you’re very happy with your life now..”
Friend: “Yeah… maybe because I’m in love!”
April: “Oh wow! No wonder you have this certain glow. How long have you been in love?”
Friend: “It’s only been 3 months actually”
April: “I see… Who’s the lucky GUY?”
Friend: (his happy face suddenly collapsed into a blow of disappointment) "Ahhhhmm.. GIRL."
April: “OH MY GOD.. IM SO SORRY. So you’re not -”
Friend: (interrupts) “NO, I’m not.”
(the airplane just started taxiing around the runway)
April: “I am sooo sorry. So stupid of me to assume..”
Friend: (forcing a smile) “It’s OK.”

*Longest 1 hour flight of my life*

The awkward moment in the Faculty room. This was way back in college when I bumped into my crush at the teacher’s lounge. He was on his way inside of the room and I was on my way out. As I swung the door open, I accidentally brushed off his left arm and somehow our palms got into contact for a split second. I got so excited that I told my friend, who was waiting outside for me, about our split-second-palm-encounter. As I was soo giddy and loud telling my friend this, she just had a straight face the whole time. She told me to look behind me, and as I turned around; My crush was staring at me with a knowing smirk in his face. UGH. I never made eye contact with him for the rest of my life in college.

*FML*

I have more to share, if only i remember. lol. 

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